“I now know that what happened to me was for my own good.”

25 years old, Alba Iulia 

My testimony,

 My name is Cristi, and I am almost 25 years of age. I live in Alba Iulia where I was born in an orthodox family. About 5 years ago my life changed radically. On June 30^th, 1997 I was together with a friend at the seaside in Costinesti. I took advantage of the good weather to take one more swim in the sea; we were to leave the next day. It was to be my last swim in the sea, and the beginning of a bitter struggle for survival.

It all began when I dived in a wave. I hit something rigid and for a few seconds I felt a great pressure in my head. I was conscious the entire time and had no pain; I was in the water face down with no control over my body. The waves took me to the surface of the water and gently carried me to the shore. I heard voices around me, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the light of the sun. I was very afraid that I was going to die and I thought suddenly of my family. I wanted to cry out for help but couldn’t do anything. Help came very late since no one believed that I could drown so close to the shore. I drowned almost completely but they pulled me out in time. I was administered first aide after which I revived and then taken to the local clinic. First examinations were done at the hospital in Constanta and the next day I was urgently transported to Bucharest where I was operated on.

In the end, my injuries were a fractured spinal column and a paralyzed body from the neck down. After the surgery, I was anxious to recover and to quickly go back home to my usual activities.  But things proved to be different. After 5 months I returned home in a wheelchair and with serious physical problems.

In the hospitals that I was admitted to, I met numerous people with serious disabilities, suffering a great deal and I myself felt the excruciating pain and the despair. My parents took turns to stay with me and only God knows their agonizing pain. While in the hospitals as well as at home I was visited by many friends who gave me a lot of support. Many of them help me very much even today. I choose to not give names for fear of leaving any out. Even with all their sympathy and support, I still felt very lonely. They would come and leave and they were healthy and I had no one to answer my questions. I had many questions, among which: “Why me? Was I worse than everybody else?” The hardest to bear and most terrible thing was to remember how I used to be and the things I used to be able to do.

At that time these were the thoughts I was struggling with and I did not believe that I would ever recover. Although I had no physical pain, in time my psychological condition worsened; I was constantly agitated, angry and discontent. The next summer I found myself in another terrible situation, my dad died of lung cancer. Many times I voiced my thoughts: “I should have died then! There is no point in living like this!” In the fall of the same year while with my mom at a recovery hospital in Cluj, I had a discussion with some patients in conditions similar to mine and came to a consensus that there is no God. I could not fathom why some people had to suffer more than others. I said those words that God did not exist, because I needed someone to blame for my problems. But God is good, and He led the steps of some of His children to my hospital bed.  It was for the first time when I sat quietly and listened to the word of God. An eleven year-old girl impressed me greatly; she also was in a wheelchair but didn’t seem to be disturbed by this fact. She was happy, and gladly told me about God. After a while, I left the hospital and went home. Soon the Lord sent more of His children in my path.

I now know that God has always been close to me, and that it was me that was far away from Him. The Christian brothers and sisters that visited me told me that Someone had died for me, and that He cares for me and loves me the way I am, and that His name was Jesus. They also told me that He alone can bring my heart to a place of serenity. I had no idea how my life was about to change, but I knew I could no longer live gripped by despair. I then prayed to Jesus Christ to come into my life and change me as He willed. Jesus showed His mercy upon me, and my life started to change. Reading through the Bible, I started finding answers to my questions. I even found verses that seemed to be addressed especially to me, namely Hebrew 12: 5, 6, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.” See, I despised the Lord’s discipline because I had not known His kindness.

I now know that what happened to me was for my own good. I would not trade my present life for the one before the accident, and this not because it is easy to lie in bed endlessly, or have someone carry me around, or feed me. Every day a different problem arises, but now I have the Lord who strengthens me, and only thus I overcome the hard times. Since I accepted Jesus into my life, I no longer become bored, nor do I waste my time in front of the TV. I have a convenient schedule every day, and I pray that God might use me the way I am, to strengthen me and care for me until the last day of my life. It is not necessary for someone to undergo the problems I have in order to know God. Jesus paid dearly for each one of us, He is always near, and all we need is to call Him into our lives.